Tomorrow you may get a working woman, but you should marry with these facts as well..............................
Here is a girl, who is as much educated as you are;
Who is earning almost as much as you do;
One, who has dreams and aspirations just as you have because she is as human as you are;
One, who has never entered the kitchen in her life just like you or your Sister haven't, as she was busy in studies and competing in a system that gives no special concession to girls for their culinary achievements
One, who has lived and loved her parents & brothers & sisters, almost as much as you do for 20-25 years of her life;
One, who has bravely agreed to leave behind all that, her home, people who love her, to adopt your home, your family, your ways and even your family name
One, who is somehow expected to be a master-chef from day #1, while you sleep oblivious to her predicament in her new circumstances, environment and that kitchen
One, who is expected to make the tea, first thing in the morning and cook food at the end of the day, even if she is as tired as you are, maybe more, and yet never ever expected to complain; to be a servant, a cook, a mother, a wife, even if she doesn't want to; and is learning just like youare as to what you want from her; and is clumsy and sloppy at times and knows that you won't like it if she is too demanding, or if she learns faster than you;
One, who has her own set of friends, and that includes boys and even men at her workplace too, those, who she knows from school days and yet iswilling to put all that on the back-burners to avoid your irrational jealousy, unnecessary competition and your inherent insecurities;
Yes, she can drink and dance just as well as you can, but won't, simply because you won't like it, even though you say otherwise
One, who can be late from work once in a while when deadlines, just like yours, are to be met;
One, who is doing her level best and wants to make this most important relationship in her entire life a grand success, if you just help her some and trust her;
One, who just wants one thing from you, as you are the only one she knows in your entire house - your unstinted support, your sensitivities and most importantly - your understanding, or love, if you may call it.
Thursday, February 28, 2008
Friday, February 8, 2008
Ever Confused with Arrange Marriage ... Very Touchy...
Straight from the Heart.... :-)
The woods were lovely dark and deep. Walking slowly beside her, in the
damp mud road, was her husband whom she barely knew. He was very
relaxed, happily watching a group of kids playing at a distance.
Her "mehandi" was still dark and smelling fresh, reminding of the
excitements and tension 2 days back. "It cant work this way
mom...please stop this", she kept telling her mother till the last
moment, who wouldnt listen but carry on with beautifying her. She had
been crying all night and her make-up had to be patched up twice or
thrice to hide her awkwardly swollen face.
It was too late now. She had to get married "NOW" to the guy...The guy
whom she had seen once and talked thrice. The guy about whom she knew
nothing at all but for his name and work. Everything happened in a
hurry and everthing was over before she could breathe again... here
was she with this guy, all alone in this hill station... how can
anybody send their daughter such a long distance with a stranger???
"Hey look at that....!!!" he shouted in excitement... she shrugged and
looked where his finger pointed...
Bright colored balloons dotted the sky. Children were jumping in joy
and he seemed to be completely absorbed into it...colors are always
exciting...but not now. She was not with her friends, not with her team
mates, not even with her parents. This was not a 3 day tour or team
building trip. This was her life and she has been forced to start off
with this person.
Loneliness and discomfort with this stranger was sickening...She
looked at him in wonder... does he even realize that he has married
me? Does he understand that he has to love me, protect me, care for me, a
new girl, a stranger, all his life?
The marriage morning started like a daylight nightmare for her. The
first time in life she felt she should have fallen in love and then
married somebody. some man who she would have felt more comfortable
with, someone whom she could call by name and introduce to friends,
someone whom she could trust. But marriage morning was obviously not
the time to think all these.
Her parents would never have said "no" if she had declared that she
was in love. But she was not emotionally attached to anybody she
met, especially guys. She was very friendly, playing, teasing, but never
had second thought for any man around her. That brought the entire
responsibility of looking for a groom on her parents' shoulders. Her
parents had had a very bad time with this entire process. They started
their groom search with unending "&" operation. The concatenation of
"Horoscope matching" & "Decent family" & "Good looking" & "Good pay" &
"same cast" & so on... that always gave 0 output. Now after all that 8
months hunt, they were not ready to hear her "ifs" and "buts" for this
'good guy'.
She had explained to her father. She does not feel anything for this
person. He is nothing more to me than any other software
professional. Like list of names she sees in the chat rooms. Distant
and usual...Her father asked her to talk to him and even meet him and
discuss their likes and dislikes. That meeting started like the
induction programme self introduction and ended like a 3 hour
seminar.She was waiting to get away from that place. "So did you talk
with him?". "yes". "was he polite and decent". "yes". "Oh he got that
special flavoured tri-color icecream...!!!".OK. All her family and
relatives discussed...She was given the chance to "understand her life
partner" and that they have understood each other "well" and she is
ready for the marriage now.
All arrangements geared up and it was 24 days after her first meeting
that she was getting married to her man... perfect match as everybody
else described. Marriage hall was full with excited people, kids got
the chance to play, ladies got the chance to wear the silk saree. The
smell of rose and jasmine filled the hall. Different poses for the
photographer and artificial smiles for the videos. The moment he had
tied the sacred thread was unexplainable vaccum in the head. It was
over.She was his wife. Accepted by the society and law. Her proud
parents were relaxed. This was their duty they had been planning to
fulfill since she was born. All this crowd will fade away, leaving her
to explore her new world...
He pulled her hand gently to sit on the stone bench. The bench was wet
and the chillness was indeed enjoyable. "So what are you thinking
about?"... that was an unexpected ball. should she reply? should she be
silent? She remembered the two hour presentation she had taken last
month. Bold and confident, she kept answering all the queries with a
broad smile. Now she remained silent. "Do you know honey... I was not
for this marriage too..." Oh my God... what did i hear??? did HE tell
that or did i think aloud? what does he mean? didnt he like me? was he
forced into this? He must have noticed the quizzical look on my
face...with a gentle smile he continued..."I wanted to look for a girl
myself, buy her everything, care for her, argue with her, laugh and cry
with her, then get married to her... Anything otherwise would be a
drama. Traditional drama and i was not for it anytime. But my love for
my work and also my stress would not give me time and mind to search
that girl...When your parents talked to me 2 weeks before our
marriage, about your fear of getting married, to a stranger, i could
completely understand your mind. I could see myself in you and that
was the moment i decided i will marry you. There was no time to prove
myself to you, make you trust me, everything happened in a hurry. But
there was the entire life before me, to please you, to love you, to
make you trust me. This is no less than what i had dreamt, the girl i
was waiting for, is you. Now tell me... will you love me???" Tears came
down her cheek. Her parents had done more than their duty. They had
found her the perfect guy. Thank you Mom!!! Thank you Dad!!! His
question remained unanswered yet both knew the answer.... -- Have the determination of a mirror। It never loses its ability to reflect, even if it is broken into thousand pieces.
With best regards फ्रोम
Bikash Patra,
The woods were lovely dark and deep. Walking slowly beside her, in the
damp mud road, was her husband whom she barely knew. He was very
relaxed, happily watching a group of kids playing at a distance.
Her "mehandi" was still dark and smelling fresh, reminding of the
excitements and tension 2 days back. "It cant work this way
mom...please stop this", she kept telling her mother till the last
moment, who wouldnt listen but carry on with beautifying her. She had
been crying all night and her make-up had to be patched up twice or
thrice to hide her awkwardly swollen face.
It was too late now. She had to get married "NOW" to the guy...The guy
whom she had seen once and talked thrice. The guy about whom she knew
nothing at all but for his name and work. Everything happened in a
hurry and everthing was over before she could breathe again... here
was she with this guy, all alone in this hill station... how can
anybody send their daughter such a long distance with a stranger???
"Hey look at that....!!!" he shouted in excitement... she shrugged and
looked where his finger pointed...
Bright colored balloons dotted the sky. Children were jumping in joy
and he seemed to be completely absorbed into it...colors are always
exciting...but not now. She was not with her friends, not with her team
mates, not even with her parents. This was not a 3 day tour or team
building trip. This was her life and she has been forced to start off
with this person.
Loneliness and discomfort with this stranger was sickening...She
looked at him in wonder... does he even realize that he has married
me? Does he understand that he has to love me, protect me, care for me, a
new girl, a stranger, all his life?
The marriage morning started like a daylight nightmare for her. The
first time in life she felt she should have fallen in love and then
married somebody. some man who she would have felt more comfortable
with, someone whom she could call by name and introduce to friends,
someone whom she could trust. But marriage morning was obviously not
the time to think all these.
Her parents would never have said "no" if she had declared that she
was in love. But she was not emotionally attached to anybody she
met, especially guys. She was very friendly, playing, teasing, but never
had second thought for any man around her. That brought the entire
responsibility of looking for a groom on her parents' shoulders. Her
parents had had a very bad time with this entire process. They started
their groom search with unending "&" operation. The concatenation of
"Horoscope matching" & "Decent family" & "Good looking" & "Good pay" &
"same cast" & so on... that always gave 0 output. Now after all that 8
months hunt, they were not ready to hear her "ifs" and "buts" for this
'good guy'.
She had explained to her father. She does not feel anything for this
person. He is nothing more to me than any other software
professional. Like list of names she sees in the chat rooms. Distant
and usual...Her father asked her to talk to him and even meet him and
discuss their likes and dislikes. That meeting started like the
induction programme self introduction and ended like a 3 hour
seminar.She was waiting to get away from that place. "So did you talk
with him?". "yes". "was he polite and decent". "yes". "Oh he got that
special flavoured tri-color icecream...!!!".OK. All her family and
relatives discussed...She was given the chance to "understand her life
partner" and that they have understood each other "well" and she is
ready for the marriage now.
All arrangements geared up and it was 24 days after her first meeting
that she was getting married to her man... perfect match as everybody
else described. Marriage hall was full with excited people, kids got
the chance to play, ladies got the chance to wear the silk saree. The
smell of rose and jasmine filled the hall. Different poses for the
photographer and artificial smiles for the videos. The moment he had
tied the sacred thread was unexplainable vaccum in the head. It was
over.She was his wife. Accepted by the society and law. Her proud
parents were relaxed. This was their duty they had been planning to
fulfill since she was born. All this crowd will fade away, leaving her
to explore her new world...
He pulled her hand gently to sit on the stone bench. The bench was wet
and the chillness was indeed enjoyable. "So what are you thinking
about?"... that was an unexpected ball. should she reply? should she be
silent? She remembered the two hour presentation she had taken last
month. Bold and confident, she kept answering all the queries with a
broad smile. Now she remained silent. "Do you know honey... I was not
for this marriage too..." Oh my God... what did i hear??? did HE tell
that or did i think aloud? what does he mean? didnt he like me? was he
forced into this? He must have noticed the quizzical look on my
face...with a gentle smile he continued..."I wanted to look for a girl
myself, buy her everything, care for her, argue with her, laugh and cry
with her, then get married to her... Anything otherwise would be a
drama. Traditional drama and i was not for it anytime. But my love for
my work and also my stress would not give me time and mind to search
that girl...When your parents talked to me 2 weeks before our
marriage, about your fear of getting married, to a stranger, i could
completely understand your mind. I could see myself in you and that
was the moment i decided i will marry you. There was no time to prove
myself to you, make you trust me, everything happened in a hurry. But
there was the entire life before me, to please you, to love you, to
make you trust me. This is no less than what i had dreamt, the girl i
was waiting for, is you. Now tell me... will you love me???" Tears came
down her cheek. Her parents had done more than their duty. They had
found her the perfect guy. Thank you Mom!!! Thank you Dad!!! His
question remained unanswered yet both knew the answer.... -- Have the determination of a mirror। It never loses its ability to reflect, even if it is broken into thousand pieces.
With best regards फ्रोम
Bikash Patra,
This is True Love !!!
Whom to blame . . .
Boy was born to a couple after eleven years of marriage. They were aloving couple and the boy was the gem of their eyes. When the boy wasaround two years old, one morning the husband saw a medicine bottleopen.
He was late for office so he asked his wife to cap the bottle and keepit in the cupboard. His wife, preoccupied in the kitchen totally forgotthe matter.
The boy saw the bottle and playfully went to the bottle fascinated byits color and drank it all. It happened to be a poisonous medicine meantfor adults in small dosages. When the child collapsed the mother hurriedhim to the hospital, where he died. The mother was stunned. She wasterrified how to face her husband.
When the distraught father came to the hospital and saw the dead child,he looked at his wife and uttered just five words.
QUESTIONS:
1. What were the five words?
2. What is the implication of this story?,Scroll down to reveal the immortal reaction...
ANSWER :
The husband just said "I am with you Darling"The husband's totally unexpected reaction is a proactive behavior. Thechild is dead. He can never be brought back to life. There is no pointin finding fault with the mother. Besides, if only he had taken time tokeep the bottle away, this would not have happened.No one is to be blamed. She had also lost her only child. What sheneeded at that moment was consolation and sympathy from the husband.That is what he gave her.
If everyone can look at life with this kind of perspective, there wouldbe much fewer problems in the world. "A journey of a thousand milesbegins with a single step." Take off all your envies, jealousies,unforgiveness, selfishness, and fears. And you will find things areactually not as difficult as you think.
MORAL OF THE STORY
Sometimes we spend time in asking who is responsible or whom to blame,whether in a relationship, in a job or with the people we know. By thisway we miss out some warmth in human relationship.
Boy was born to a couple after eleven years of marriage. They were aloving couple and the boy was the gem of their eyes. When the boy wasaround two years old, one morning the husband saw a medicine bottleopen.
He was late for office so he asked his wife to cap the bottle and keepit in the cupboard. His wife, preoccupied in the kitchen totally forgotthe matter.
The boy saw the bottle and playfully went to the bottle fascinated byits color and drank it all. It happened to be a poisonous medicine meantfor adults in small dosages. When the child collapsed the mother hurriedhim to the hospital, where he died. The mother was stunned. She wasterrified how to face her husband.
When the distraught father came to the hospital and saw the dead child,he looked at his wife and uttered just five words.
QUESTIONS:
1. What were the five words?
2. What is the implication of this story?,Scroll down to reveal the immortal reaction...
ANSWER :
The husband just said "I am with you Darling"The husband's totally unexpected reaction is a proactive behavior. Thechild is dead. He can never be brought back to life. There is no pointin finding fault with the mother. Besides, if only he had taken time tokeep the bottle away, this would not have happened.No one is to be blamed. She had also lost her only child. What sheneeded at that moment was consolation and sympathy from the husband.That is what he gave her.
If everyone can look at life with this kind of perspective, there wouldbe much fewer problems in the world. "A journey of a thousand milesbegins with a single step." Take off all your envies, jealousies,unforgiveness, selfishness, and fears. And you will find things areactually not as difficult as you think.
MORAL OF THE STORY
Sometimes we spend time in asking who is responsible or whom to blame,whether in a relationship, in a job or with the people we know. By thisway we miss out some warmth in human relationship.
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