Human Brain Analysis - Man vs. Woman

Human Brain Analysis - Man vs. Woman......A MUST READ!


1. MULTI-TASKING
Women - Multiple process

Womens brains designed to concentrate multiple task at a time.
Women can Watch a TV and Talk over phone and cook.
Men - Single Process
Mens brains designed to concentrate only one work at a time. Men can not watch TV and talk over the phone at the same time. they stop the TV while Talking. They can either watch TV or talk over the phone or cook.

2. LANGUAGE
Women can easily learn many languages. But can not find solutions to problems. Men can not easily learn languages, they can easily solve problems. That's why in average a 3 years old girl has three times higher vocabulary than a 3 yeard old boy.

3. ANALYTICAL SKILLS
Mens brains has a lot of space for handling the analytical process. They can analyze and find the solution for a process and design a map of a building easily. But If a complex map is viewed by women, they can not understand it. Women can not understand the details of a map easily, For them it is just a dump of lines on a paper.

4. CAR DRIVING.
While driving a car, mans analytical spaces are used in his brain. He can drive a car fastly. If he sees an object at long distance, immediately his brain classifies the object (bus or van or car) direction and speed of the object and he drives accordingly. Where woman take a long time to recognize the object direction/ speed. Mans single process mind stops the audio in the car (if any), then concentrates only on driving.

5. LYING
When men lie to women face to face, they get caught easily. Womans super natural brain observes facial expression 70%, body language 20% and words coming from the mouth 10%. Mens brain does not have this. Women easily lie to men face to face.
So guys, do not lie face to face.

6. PROBLEMS SOLVING
If a man have a lot of problems, his brain clearly classifies the problems and puts them in individual rooms in the brain and then finds the solution one by one. You can see many guys looking at the sky for a long time. If a woman has a lot of problems, her brain can not classify the problems. she wants some one to hear that. After telling everything to a person she goes happily to bed. She does not worry about the problems being solved or not.

7. WHAT THEY WANT
Men want status, success, solutions, big process, etc... But Women want relationship, friends, family, etc...

8. UNHAPPINESS
If women are unhappy with their relations, they can not concentrate on their work. If men are unhappy with their work, they can not concentrate on the relations.

9. SPEECH
Women use indirect language in speech. But Men use direct language.


10. HANDLING EMOTION
Women talk a lot without thinking. Men act a lot without thinking.

A short but amazing film demonstrating wonderful ways for building an never ending relationship

One of the best video I ve ever seen on simple tips for building better relationship among any loving couples... Thanks for making such a wonderful short movie!!!


Now...lets try to follow by remembering on each such situation of life... :)

Believing Woman !!! :-)

A woman and a man are involved in a car accident. It's a bad one. Both of their cars are demolished but amazingly neither of them is hurt. After they crawl out of their cars, the woman says, 'So, you're a man... That's interesting. I'm a woman. Wow, just look at our cars!

There's nothing left, but fortunately we are unhurt. This must be a sign from God that we should meet and be friends and live together in peace for the rest of our days.'
The man replied,' I agree with you completely. This must be a sign from God!

The woman continued, 'And look at this, here's another miracle... My car is completely demolished, but this bottle of wine didn't break. Surely God wants us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune.'

Then she hands the bottle to the man. The man nods his head in agreement, opens it, drinks half the bottle and then hands it back to the woman. The woman takes the bottle, immediately puts the cap back on, and hands it back to the man. The man asks, 'Aren't you having any?'

She replies, 'Nah. I think I'll just wait for the police...'

मोराल : Think twice before Believing a Woman :-) :-) :-)

Great Magician of 2008 !!!

Three world famous magicians were in the bar drinking and boasting of their achievements.

The first one said," During my latest show, I made three women from the audience disappear, it was so convincing that their relatives started panicking, no one could find the trick"

The second one said, " Hey, that is nothing, during one of my open air shows I made the Municipality building disappear and the entire town was searching for it"

The third one sighed and said," Both of you are so local, I went to Paris and made the Eiffel Tower disappear for a full one hour, it was live on the TV, entire France was searching for the building & no one had a clue".

Just then an Indian walked into the bar and the three magicians suddenly turned quiet, gave each other fugitive glances and started to slip towards the door.

A Bartender watching this got curious and asked one of the magicians, "Hey what happened ? Who is that guy ? "

One of the magicians whispered, "He is the World's greatest magician, he has done the biggest disappearing trick of all times, we are all mere amateurs compared with what he has done. His name is Ramalinga Raju. He has made USD 1.5 billion disappear from his company's balance sheet in front of everyone's eyes, and the entire world is still looking for it

The Successful Couple!!! (Must Read) :-)

Once upon a time a married couple celebrated their 25th marriage anniversary. They had become famous in the city for not having a single conflict in their period of 25 years. Local newspaper editors had gathered at the occasion to find out the secret of their well known "happy going marriage".

Editor: "Sir! It's amazingly unbelievable. How did you make this possible?"

Husband recalling his old honeymoon days said: " We had been to Shimla for honeymoon after marriage. Having selected the horse riding finally, we both started the ride on different horses. My horse was pretty okay but the horse on which my wife was riding seemed to be a crazy one. On the way ahead, that horse jumped suddenly, making my wife topple over. Recovering her position from the ground, she patted the horse's back and said "This is your first time".

She again climbed the horse and continued with the ride. After a while, it happened again. This time she again kept calm and said "This is your second time" and continued.

When the horse dropped her third time, she silently took out the revolver from the purse and shot the horse dead!

I shouted at my wife: "What did you do you psycho! You killed the poor animal! Are you crazy?"

She gave a silent look and said: "This is your first time!"

Husband: "That's it! We are happy ever after!"

Appraisal के नाम पर एक लम्बी आह भरते हैं,

Appraisal के नाम पर एक लम्बी आह भरते हैं,
chaliye ab hum is "dukhad" kahani ki shuruat karte hain,

हमेह्सा की तरह 10 बजे ठुमकते हुए office आया,
11 बजे तक नाश्ता किया और बारह बजे तक mail ही पढ़ पाया ,

हमेशा की तरह आज भी मुझे आलस आ रहा था ,
और मेरा PM मुझे तिरछी निगाहों से देख -देख गुस्सा रहा था,

मैं बड़े concentration के साथ एक "Careful" mail पढ़ रहा था,
तभी देखा मेरे PM ke नाम का नया mail कोने मैं blink कर रहा था,

फिर कोई traini n g attend करनी होगी,ये क्या बकवास है,
क्या reply मैं लिख दूँ की मेरे mailbox का उपवास है?

मैंने आँखें बंद की और 10 bar "om" "om" bola,
और प्रणाम karate huye मैंने वो मेल खोला,

PM के इस s मेल मैं एक अजीब सा सुकून और भोलापन है,
likha है भाइयों appraisal letters आ गए,अब तो one -to-one hai,

मॅन मैं ऐसे बुरे बुरे ख्याल आ रहे थे ,
ऊपर से कुछ लोग मेरे"de-appraisal" की गन्दी affwah उड़ा रहे थे,

PM को letter लाते देख हर कोई useदेखता जाता है,
जैसे mallika के किसी नए गाने को देखा जाता है,

आखिर वो वक़्त आया,PM ने एक एक kar sabako ander बुलाया,
जो भी अंदर जाता हँसता हुआ जाता,
जो बहार आता,मुरझाया hua aata,

बहार आ कर इंसान संभल भी नहीं पता है,
की "कितना हुआ kitna मीला"हर कोई उसपे टूट जाता है,

किसी एक को appraisal मैं 2000 rupaye मिले थे , मैं उसकी हंसी उड़ा रहा था ,
तभी मैंने देखा मेरा PM इशारे से मुझे अंदर बुला रहा था ,

मैं confidence से उठा और आगे कदम बढाया ,
तभी मेरी belt का buckle टूट के नीकल आया ,

मेरी हालत तो अभी से ही बुरी हो गयी ,
साला इज्ज़त उतरना तो यही से शुरू हो गयी ,

मैं अंदर पहुंचा और PM ने मुझे बिठाया ,
उसने मेरा letter पढा और वो हंसी रोक न पाया ,

वोह इतना हंसा की usse आंसू आ गए ,
क्या मेरे appraisal digits usse इतने भा गए ,

जैसे ही उसने appraisal letter मेरी तरफ बढाया ,
मेरी आँखों के आगे घनघोर अँधेरा छाया ,

मुझे लगा जैसे मेरे dil की दीवार को किसी ने गोबर से पोता है ,
अरे यार "बीस rupaye" ? ये भी कोई increment होता है ?

ये software indusrty है , अखाडा नहीं है ,
ये "SALARY INCREMENT" है , दादर आने -जाने का भाडा नहीं
है ,

मेरे चारों तरफ कलि घटा छायी ,तभी मेरे PM की soothing आवाज़ आई ,

तुम सोच रहे होगे के company mgmt का दिमाग फिर गया है ,
पर बेटा हम क्या करें , dollar का bhav 2 rupaye जो gir गया है ,

पर फिर भी मुझे लगता है , ये letter fake है ,
मुझे तो लगता है ये printing mistake है,

तुम HR मैं जाओ ,और ये confirm करके आओ ,

भाई HR मैं जाने के लिए तैयार होना पड़ता है ,
वही तो ऐसी जगह है जहाँ सुंदर लड़कियों से पला पड़ता है ,

shitt!! जहाँ "Renuka " बैठी है , आज वहां बैठा "Aftab" hai,
मैं समझ गया बेटा , आज अपना luck ही ख़राब है ,

उसने मेरा letter खोला ,और खुश हो के बोला ,

वो बोला sir आप के लिए खुशखबरी है ,
आप के letter ने "Printing mistake" पकड़ी है ,

मैंने कहा boss अब देर न लगाएं ,
और मुझे मेरा actual amount बताएं ,

sorry sir ये mistake just by एक्सीडेंट है ,
बीस rupaye नहीं , दो rupaye आप का increment है ,

मैं क्या करूं आप को ये बताते हुए मेरा dil रो रहा है ,
पर क्या करें dollar का भाव भी तो कम हो रहा है ,

मैं बस वहाँ खडा था ,कुछ समझ नहीं आ रहा था ,
मुझसे ज्यादा increment तो security वाला पा रहा था ,

मैंने खुद को संभाला , खुद को उठाया ,
मैं लौटा और सीधे PM के पास आया ,

मैं सीधा उसके केबिन गया और दरवाज़ा खोला ,
इस से पहले की वो बोले , मैं ही उस से बोला ,

sir ये पैसे वापिस ले लीजिये , बात करना फीजूल है,
मैं गरीब हूँ,पर भीख नहीं लेता ये मेरा उसूल है|.

Hum se panga na lena!!! ;-)

A little girl asked her father: How did the human race get here? The father answered: God made Adam and Eve and they had children and so all mankind was made.



Two days later she asks her mother the same question. The mother answered: Many years ago there were monkeys who came down out of the trees. They started to walk on their back legs, made tools and fire and eventually turned into mankind.



The confused girl returns to her father and says: Pappa, why is it that you told me that the human race was created by God and Mama says they came from monkeys. The father answers: Well dear, it is very simple. I told you about the origin of my side of the family while your mother told you about her side!

Young ALBERT EINSTEIN...

An atheist professor of philosophy speaks to his class on the problem science has with God, The Almighty.
He asks one of his new students to stand and.....

Prof: So you believe in God?

Student: Absolutely, sir.

Prof: Is God good?

Student: Sure.

Prof: Is God all-powerful?

Student : Yes.

Prof: My brother died of cancer even though he prayed to God to heal him. Most of us would attempt to help others who are ill. But God didn't. How is this God good then? Hmm?

(Student is silent.)

Prof: You can't answer, can you? Let's start again, young fella. Is God good?

Student :Yes.

Prof: Is Satan good?

Student : No.

Prof: Where does Satan come from?

Student : From...God...

Prof: That's right. Tell me son, is there evil in this world?

Student : Yes.

Prof: Evil is everywhere, isn't it? And God did make everything. Correct?

Student : Yes.

Prof: So who created evil?

(Student does not answer.)

Prof: Is there sickness? Immorality? Hatred? Ugliness? All these terrible things exist in the world, don't they?

Student :Yes, sir.

Prof: So, who created them?

(Student has no answer.)

Prof: Science says you have 5 senses you use to identify and observe the world around you. Tell me, son...Have you ever seen God?

Student : No, sir.

Prof: Tell us if you have ever heard your God?

Student : No , sir.

Prof: Have you ever felt your God, tasted your God, smelled your God? Have you ever had any sensory perception of God for that matter?

Student : No, sir. I'm afraid I haven't.

Prof: Yet you still believe in Him?

Student : Yes.

Prof: According to empirical, testable, demonstrable protocol, science says your GOD doesn't exist. What do you say to that, son?

Student : Nothing. I only have my faith.

Prof: Yes. Faith. And that is the problem science has.

Student : Professor, is there such a thing as heat?

Prof: Yes.

Student : And is there such a thing as cold?

Prof: Yes.

Student : No sir. There isn't.

(The lecture theatre becomes very quiet with this turn of events.)

Student : Sir, you can have lots of heat, even more heat, superheat, mega heat, white heat, a little heat or no heat. But we don't have anything called cold. We can hit 458 degrees below zero which is no heat, but we can't go any further after that. There is no such thing as cold. Cold is only a word we use to describe the absence of heat. We cannot measure cold. Heat is energy. Cold is not the opposite of heat, sir, just the absence of it.

(There is pin-drop silence in the lecture theatre.)

Student : What about darkness, Professor? Is there such a thing as darkness?

Prof: Yes. What is night if there isn't darkness?

Student : You're wrong again, sir. Darkness is the absence of something. You can have low light, normal light, bright light, flashing light.... But if youhave no light constantly, you have nothing and it's called darkness, isn't it? In reality, darkness isn't. If it were, you would be able to make darkness darker, wouldn't you?

Prof: So what is the point you are making, young man?

Student : Sir, my point is your philosophical premise is flawed.

Prof: Flawed? Can you explain how?

Student : Sir, you are working on the premise of duality. You argue there is life and then there is death, a good God and a bad God. You are viewing the concept of God as something finite, something we can measure. Sir, science can't even explain a thought. It uses electricity and magnetism, but has never seen, much less fully understood either one. To view death as the opposite of life is to be ignorant of the fact that death cannot exist as a substantive thing. Death is not the opposite of life: just the absence of it. Now tell me, Professor. Do you teach your students that they evolved from a monkey?

Prof: If you are referring to the natural evolutionary process, yes, of course, I do.
Student: Have you ever observed evolution with your own eyes, sir?

(The Professor shakes his head with a smile, beginning to realize where the argument is going.)

Student: Since no one has ever observed the process of evolution at work and cannot even prove that this process is an on-going endeavor, are you not teaching your opinion, sir? Are you not a scientist but a preacher?

(The class is in uproar.)

Student : Is there anyone in the class who has ever seen the Professor's brain?

(The class breaks out into laughter.)

Student : Is there anyone here who has ever heard the Professor's brain, felt it, touched or smelled it?.....No one appears to have done so. So, according to the established rules of empirical, stable, demonstrable protocol, science says that you have no brain, sir. With all due respect, sir, how do we then trust your lectures, sir?

(The room is silent. The professor stares at the student, his face unfathomable.)

Prof: I guess you'll have to take them on faith, son.

Student : That is it, sir.. The link between man & god is FAITH. That is all that keeps things moving & alive.

That young man was ALBERT EINSTEIN

A husband's true feeling.. Classic one :)

A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband. Suddenly
her husband burst into the kitchen.

"Careful ... CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my GOD! You're cooking
too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW! We need more
butter. Oh my GOD! WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER? They're going
to STICK! Careful ... CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL! You NEVER listen to me
when you're cooking!

Never! Turn them! Hurry up! Are you CRAZY? Have you LOST your mind?
Don't forget to salt them. You know you always forget to salt them. Use
the salt. USE THE SALT! THE SALT!"

The wife stared at him. "What in the world is wrong with you? You think
I don't know how to fry a couple of eggs?"



The husband calmly replied, "I wanted to show you what it feels like
when I'm driving." :-)

" The Washer man and the Foolish Donkey"

Have you heard the story of " The Washer man and the Foolish Donkey" ?

To refresh your memory, and for the benefit of those who have not grown up listening to this moral story, it goes like this…

There was once a washer man who had a donkey and a dog. One night when the whole world was sleeping, a thief broke into the house, the washer man was fast asleep but the donkey and the dog were awake. The dog decided not to bark since the master did not take good care of him and wanted to teach him a lesson. The donkey got worried and said to the dog that if he doesn't bark, the donkey will have to do something himself. The dog did not change his mind and the donkey started braying loudly. Hearing the donkey bray, the thief ran away, the master woke up and started beating the donkey for braying in the middle of the night for no reason.

Moral of the story " One must not engage in duties other than his own"

Now take a new look at the same story…

The washer man ( J ) was a well educated man from a premier management institute. He had the fundas of looking at the bigger picture and thinking out of the box. He was convinced that there must be some reason for the donkey to bray in the night. He walked outside a little and did some fact finding, applied a bottom up approach, figured out from the ground realities that there was a thief who broke in and the donkey only wanted to alert him about it. Looking at the donkey's extra initiative and going beyond the call of the duty, he rewarded him with lot of hay and other perks and became his favorite pet. The dog's life didn't change much, except that now the donkey was more motivated in doing the dogs duties as well. In the annual appraisal the dog managed a " meets requirement" . Soon the dog realized that the donkey is taking care of his duties and he can enjoy his life sleeping and lazing around. The donkey was rated as " star performer". The donkey had to live up to his already high performance standards. Soon he was over burdened with work and always under pressure and now is looking for a job rotation…

ARE YOU A CARROT, AN EGG, OR A COFFEE BEAN?

A young woman went to her mother and told her about her life and how things were so hard for her. She did not know how she was going to make it and wanted to give up. She was tired of fighting and struggling. Her mother took her to the kitchen. She filled three pots with water. In the first she placed carrots, in the second she placed eggs, and in the last she placed ground coffee beans.

She let them sit and boil without saying a word. In about twenty minutes she turned off the burners. She fished the carrots out and placed them in a bowl. She pulled the eggs out and placed them in a bowl. Then she ladled the coffee out and placed it in a bowl.Turning to her daughter, she asked, "Tell me what do you see?"

"Carrots, eggs, and coffee," she replied.

She brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots. She did and noted that they were soft and mushy. She then asked her to take an egg and break it. After pulling off the shell, she observed the hardened egg. Finally, she asked her to sip the coffee. The daughter smiled, as she tasted its deep flavour and inhaled its rich aroma.

The daughter then asked, "What's the point, mother?"

Her mother explained that each of these objects had faced the same adversity - boiling water - but each reacted differently. The carrot went in strong, hard and unrelenting. However after being subjected to the boiling water, it became weak. The egg had been fragile. Its thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior. But, after sitting through the boiling water, its inside became hardened. The ground coffee beans were unique, however. After they were in the boiling water they had changed the water.

"Which are you?" she asked her daughter. "When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond? Are you a carrot, an egg, or a coffee bean?"

Think of this: Which am I? Am I the carrot that seems strong, but with pain and adversity, do I wilt and lose my strength? Am I the egg that starts with a fluid spirit but after death, a breakup, a financial hardship or some other trial, have I become hardened and stiff? Does my shell look the same, but on the inside am I bitter and tough with a stiff spirit and a hardened heart? Or am I like the coffee bean? The bean actually changes the hot water - the very circumstance that brings the adversity, the pain, the hardship - into something quite wonderful. When the water gets hot, it releases the fragrance and flavor. If you are like the bean, when things are at their "worst", you get better and change the situation around you for the better.

When the hours are the darkest and trials are their greatest do you elevate to another level? How do you handle adversity?

ARE YOU A CARROT, AN EGG, OR A COFFEE BEAN?

Are humein to apno ne loota.........

Are humein to apno ne loota.........
gairo mein kaha damm tha.....
meri haddi waha tooti....

jahan hospital band tha.....
Mujhe jis ambulance mein daala.......
uska petrol khatam tha.....
mujhe rikshey mein isliye bithaya....
kyoki uska kiraya kam tha.......

Mujhe doctor's ne uthaya....
nurso mein kaha damm tha.......
Mujhe jis bed per litaya....
uske neeche bomb tha.........

Mujhe to bomb se uraya.....
goli mein kaha damm tha....
aur mujhe sadak mein dafnaya....
kyoki kabristaan mein function tha.....

Aishwarya !!!

Follow this blog link :-)

http://wowbollywood.blogspot.com/search/label/Aishwarya

Too cute Video by a baby Singer, 3yrs old :-)

Hi All,
Just visit this nice song {Celopatra} - baby actress. Its too cute to listen.

Cleopatra Stratan (born October 6, 2002 in Chisinau, Moldova), the daughter of Moldovan-Romanian singer, Pavel Stratan, is one of the youngest people ever to score commercial success as a singer, with her 2006 album La vârsta de trei ani ("At the age of 3").[1]

The Video URL is : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GDq-E708lHU

I am attaching the Lyrics too : (http://www.justsomelyrics.com/1701046/Cleopatra-Stratan-Ghita-(English)-Lyrics)

*Cleopatra Stratan - Ghita (English Version)*

The coat is inside out,
There is no sun above
Nothing is going good
Since I think of Ghita.
But Ghita's not in town
I asked why he's not around
It seems to me he's gone
He's gone abroad

Hard, I think it's very hard
Want, I don't know what I want
I know that you like me too
Ghita, what is up with you?
Young, come on in or go
Young, tell me yes or no
Ghita, please don´t anger me
Tell me how your life will be
Ghita,Tonight I'm waiting at the wicket
Me at the station I bought a ticket
Come to,
But don't come as you did before
As usually with empty hands...
Who else
Will and sing for you as
I do Entire evening just getting there

Ghita,
Show me a girl who's found of you
That loves you more as much as I do...

Ghita, te-astept diseara la portitaLanga portita de la scoalaVino da numa nu vini cum vii tuDe obicei cu mana goalaCine te mai asteapta ca si mineO seara intreaga numai pe tine.Ghita, arata-mi tu o fata careSa te iubeasca asa de tare!